Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Angry Runts -- L train edition

Nobody seemed to think about the already congested Bedford L platform when they built all those brand new (and very ugly) high rises along Williamsburg's waterfront. 'Cause, you know, adding tons of people to the neighborhood shouldn't require more trains! People don't need the subways in the morning, silly!

Every morning at about 9am, people scurry down the stairs to find tons of tired commuters standing in the thick heat, waiting only to watch it breeze by and honk loudly skipping our station and pissing off everyone. Then, 5 more minutes of waiting, and the monotone generic american woman voice announces "the L train is now arriving on the...the L train is now arriving on the...ladies and gentlemen the L, the L, the L train is now arriving on the Manhattan bound track." Get your shit together lady!! The train comes to a halt as people promptly squish into each other and push and shove to get in first like a Black Friday swarm of chubby American's surrounding Walmart, overly excited about Tickle Me Elmo's.

Thanks MTA!

After everybody pisses each other off, the doors close and the remaining sweaty limbs are pushed in and plastered against the glass, the train finally starts moving. By this time it's 9:15 -- IF you're lucky.
Tilting my head up in order to secure myself some mildly fresh air (sans B.O.), I notice that there's a suspicious amount of room towards the middle of the car. How come nobody moves the in?? Especially freakishly tall people whose asses press up against my cheek like a smelly pillow!
There seems to be a running trend of compiling near the doors, in fear of missing your stop. People, you will not miss your stop, MOVE IN.

Good Times!

This morning, when entering the train, a blond haired 20-something stepped in and stood right near the door -- effectively limiting the size of the entrance. People pushed through and around her like a herd of cows trying to moo through the tiny gates of their poop filled homes. Why? Why blond-haired 20-something, can you not just move in? Are you having a blonde moment? Do you think you're special or something? Are you assuming that because you're slightly petite, that you're body wouldn't pose any kind of problems for others? She travelled in the same spot all the way to 6th ave. Pretty much everyone leaves the train at 14th street anyway, so why was it necessary to stand near the door like that?

Blond-haired 20 something -- shame on you. If I see you again, I'm pushing you in.

And as for you, L train, I wish my morning commute didn't feel like travelling on a crowded bus through Pakistan.
Are we having fun yet?

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