Angry Runts -- L train edition

Nobody seemed to think about the already congested Bedford L platform when they built all those brand new (and very ugly) high rises along Williamsburg's waterfront. 'Cause, you know, adding tons of people to the neighborhood shouldn't require more trains! People don't need the subways in the morning, silly!

Every morning at about 9am, people scurry down the stairs to find tons of tired commuters standing in the thick heat, waiting only to watch it breeze by and honk loudly skipping our station and pissing off everyone. Then, 5 more minutes of waiting, and the monotone generic american woman voice announces "the L train is now arriving on the...the L train is now arriving on the...ladies and gentlemen the L, the L, the L train is now arriving on the Manhattan bound track." Get your shit together lady!! The train comes to a halt as people promptly squish into each other and push and shove to get in first like a Black Friday swarm of chubby American's surrounding Walmart, overly excited about Tickle Me Elmo's.

Thanks MTA!

After everybody pisses each other off, the doors close and the remaining sweaty limbs are pushed in and plastered against the glass, the train finally starts moving. By this time it's 9:15 -- IF you're lucky.
Tilting my head up in order to secure myself some mildly fresh air (sans B.O.), I notice that there's a suspicious amount of room towards the middle of the car. How come nobody moves the in?? Especially freakishly tall people whose asses press up against my cheek like a smelly pillow!
There seems to be a running trend of compiling near the doors, in fear of missing your stop. People, you will not miss your stop, MOVE IN.

Good Times!

This morning, when entering the train, a blond haired 20-something stepped in and stood right near the door -- effectively limiting the size of the entrance. People pushed through and around her like a herd of cows trying to moo through the tiny gates of their poop filled homes. Why? Why blond-haired 20-something, can you not just move in? Are you having a blonde moment? Do you think you're special or something? Are you assuming that because you're slightly petite, that you're body wouldn't pose any kind of problems for others? She travelled in the same spot all the way to 6th ave. Pretty much everyone leaves the train at 14th street anyway, so why was it necessary to stand near the door like that?

Blond-haired 20 something -- shame on you. If I see you again, I'm pushing you in.


And as for you, L train, I wish my morning commute didn't feel like travelling on a crowded bus through Pakistan.

Are we having fun yet?

The Meat we Eat

Watching the documentary "Forks Over Knives" got me thinking about the consequences of the food I eat. Don't get me wrong, I am not one of those Americans who is out gorging on fast food everyday. But I do like my take out. Yes I do. I was raised with a high awareness of "good" and "bad" foods, and when I cook I make sure that my produce is organic, fresh, and local if possible, and that my meat is humanely raised and hormone-free. But is this enough?

"Forks Over Knives" makes a compelling argument that these efforts are not enough. Showcasing the work of pioneering researchers Dr T. Collin Campell and Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn, the film endorses a plant-based diet as the only way to assure healthy living. They link the ingestion of animal byproducts to degenerative diseases such as heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and cancer. They even go so far as to show cases in which food is used as medicine, reversing degenerative diseases through diet alone. This part of the documentary, I found to be highly convincing.

The film gives a rich depiction of the social climates that led to the current animal-heavy diets of most Americans. From the horribly unbalanced food pyramids of late to the dairy industry's advertising propaganda, it is clear that our society's conception of what food to eat has gone terribly awry. In the 1950's a "good" wife's duty was to provide her family with a hearty well balanced meal. A way to a man's heart was through his stomach. Wonder bread, fluff and a glass of milk for the kids, steak and potatoes for the hubby. All in a days work. This clearly is not the way to go.

But is an animal-free, plant based diet the only answer? While the film argues yes, I have a hard time buying it. The studies highlighted in the film were all conducted on populations eating processed, factory raised meat. OF COURSE these meats are bad for you! Feeding growth hormones to developing children is NEVER a good idea. There is no doupt in my mind that the general population will benifit from eating more fresh produce in general. But what about good meat? Where is the study on grass fed beef and free range chicken? Show me a study that links organically raised, humanely butchered poultry to breast cancer and maybe I will reassess my perspective. I'm proud to say that I am a meat snob. And until facts surface that prove that my "good" meat is "bad", I will stick to my carnivorous ways -- thank you VERY much.

0911

Tit's and Tricks! I mean..Tips and tricks!

Problem: RUST


Back in the days shaving cream was either a bar of creamy shaving product in a wooden bowl OR a tube of shaving cream in an aluminum tube. Now-a-days, however, you're more likely to come across all sorts of shaving creams that come out of pumps from cans that rust all to easily. The aluminum cans, unlike their ancestors, cause problems when in contact with water. Rust develops on the bottom of the can and then you and your floor or counter are screwed!

I HATE THAT SHIT.

Solution: NAIL POLISH


If you simply coat the bottom rim with a layer of clear nail polish, it serves as a great protector against rust developing and leaving it's marks all over the place! Of course, you could use any color polish -- but your friends might think you're weird when they use your bathroom and notice that you've nail polished the bottom of all your cans with colored "I'm on my period Red" polish....no comment.

So when you're shaving before work, or just getting ready for that big day....

make sure your cream don't leave any stains, that's what the wine's for. And at least you won't be making a fool of yourself rusting up all your counters.....although you might make a fool of yourself dropping all that wine on your white dress after falling on your face! I'll take the rust over that anyday....

ouchie.

Irene! Ahhhyyeee reeeeneee.

So, its been a while since we've posted, but that's because we ditched out for a bit to get some beach before summer's end...

CliffNotes Catchup --

In Washington D.C., the American Flag split ironically
due to force winds up Michelle Bachman's suit dresses.

Irene, in Brooklyn at least, wasn't more than a bad rain storm. I went to bed in anticipation surrounded in the calm before the storm, and awoke with a radio, candles and porn I MEAN flashlights by my bedside expecting an "historic storm"of treacherous proportions -- instead I found people walking their dogs, all the power worked fine, and there were no downed trees in sight. What the F?
The day after this historic failure storm hit brooklyn I could feel the bad hangover in the air from cooping up in their apartments, taping their windows and boarding up outsides, moving furniture and filling the bathtub full of water, buying lots of unnecessary shit....it makes me think...
What if all this talk about a huge 'cane was created by Target perhaps they weren't selling enough batteries and wood panels.... HMMMMMM

I was actually looking forward to that "historic storm" as they said it would be. Instead I found myself eating penut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch and dinner and marathoning james bond films for a few days.

Aw, now, how many dogs do you think pooped in that exact spot?
He must be a tourist.
There's poop everywhere! Get your face off the floor!
I hope you're drunk.